yoga with chinese characteristics

Tonight, at the behest of Bethanie, one of my coworkers, I ventured to a gym near my residence with our Chinese friend Garrison. He was taking us to one of the regular yoga classes at his workout place and had reserved us two spots for the night.

The gym was spotlessly clean and very Western. Frankly, it was nicer than a lot of gyms in the states. The lockers were actually wooden cabinet things that smelled great. A year's membership includes access to all the classes, a full weight room, cardio machines, a boxing ring and a sauna! All for about $400. Or less, because apparently you can bargain down your gym membership. Oh, China...

We ventured into yoga class where purple mats were already laid out perfectly. They were numbered and Garrison informed us that we were E2 and E3, respectively. So you have to reserve a spot because, according to Garrison, "some of the teachers are really great and popular, but this teacher is just okay. Usually this room is full." I hoped the teacher wasn't around to hear him say that.

The teacher turned out to be just fine and actually was able to conduct the class in both Chinese and English. I initially thought I could muddle through a Chinese yoga class, but it turns out my language skills don't really encompass the vocabulary required to explain "softening your heart center and grounding your energy in downward dog." By watching the instructor and others, I could manage, but looking under and through your armpit all the time strains your neck. I appreciated her translations and assistance, needless to say.

On to the Chinese characteristics: Besides the language issue, the gym was loud. I centered my spirit to the sounds of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj filtering through the door. A few car horns beeped outside. My classmates were very flexible (seems to be a Chinese genetic trait, as far as I can tell) but not very strong. I may not be able to but my head under my leg but I can hold a plank position like a pro or stand in the splits for a million years as my comrades drop like flies. Clearly, this satisfies me. Thought I'd brag a little on my blog. My blog. Me me me.

Afterward, we thanked our teacher and headed outside to discuss membership with Garrison's friend at the front desk. He gave us a voucher for a week trial and brought out a mysterious binder with pictures of Jet Li in it, apparently the spokesman for the company. There was little to no useful information in said binder, but we did get a price list. 2600元. But Garrison assured us it could be cheaper. So we'll see.

Then Bethanie excitedly mentioned that she would love to learn kung fu. The sales manager looked at her, asked if she was serious, and said that the kung fu pro was in and that maybe we could try it out for a few minutes. Bethanie immediately accepted the offer and insisted I come along. This is the kind of thing she drags me into.

So Jet Li is kinda smokin'.

We meet our resident kung fu master, named Lou in the boxing ring area, which, by the way is incredibly public. He is a small and wiry guy, fairly young. He was wearing a polo and on his chest was a necklace with the word "sweet" written in gold script hanging from a chain. This was incredibly distracting when he tried to explain briefly the types of kung fu and how to make a respectful greeting. "Okay, Sweet, I respectfully greet you and want to learn your masterful punching ways."

He instructed us on the proper thumb placement in a kung fu palm and then proceeded to teach us an eight-step routine of punches and flat palm position. It was pretty badass, I'm not going to lie. A small crowd gathered to watch the two white chicks learn the famous and historic martial arts of China. I wonder if they were proud, amused or just weirded out. I was embarrassed for a bit, but then I relaxed and enjoyed myself. It was pretty fun and I bet I could be pretty good if I tried.

After our short lesson, he gave us a performance in the boxing ring filled with high kicks, swift punches and gravity-defying twisting leaps. He was actually amazingly talented. What a trip!

Private lessons would be more than twice my monthly salary, but I can't say I wasn't tempted to train with Lou. I'll at least say hi when I see him at the gym. It's always good to have a kung fu master on your team.

love,
ellen