I love my gym. The water is warm, there is a sauna, there is yoga every day, the blow dryers are amazing and outside is lots of delicious food that I consume post-workout. The staff are super friendly and helpful, though ill-equipped in most respects to assist with first-aid, schedule questions or really anything meaningful. But that's China for you, so I'm rolling with it.
Recently, I've gone to the gym every day because Chinese Vie has the week off for Christmas (imagine that!). I usually go to the later evening workout classes because the showers get too mad crazy if I take earlier ones. It's not just me that appreciates the warm water and consistent pressure of the showers, so it can attract quite a crowd. On Wednesday, however, I took the crazy Shanghainese lady's yoga at 7:15pm and prepared myself for the irritating shower ordeal.
By the way, crazy Shanghainese lady is a nutty instructor that begins class by lecturing us on something and then yells at everyone about trying harder and persisting in our poses. I only catch about a third of what's going on and it's usually out of context, so most of it is meaningless. Whoops! I'm trying to get better at Chinese, I swear. One day, she was jabbering at someone and then goes, "And see, if you aren't getting it, then how am I supposed to get the foreigner to understand?" And because I do understand, I looked up and said, "Me?" to which she replied, "Oh, yes, you understand? Yes, that's you I'm talking about." And then we all laughed and she compared people to me and criticized them, saying, "Even the foreigner can do it." Which you may find insulting, but I find hilarious, and now we are good friends, sharing a laugh about my foreignness and her harsh pedagogical approach. On Wednesday, she grabbed my leg, forcing me into a highly uncomfortable stretch and mocking my agonized cries. Again, the whole class laughed together. She's a bit of a sadist, I guess.
Anyway, after class I needed to shower and I groaned at the prospect of waiting around naked for my turn. Yep, it's naked time in the Chinese shower and I'm over it. We've all got the same parts and I'm not super shy about my body. Most of the people that recognize me aren't as curious about my smokin' hot and strange Western body anymore. (That was a painful and embarrassing stage in my gym experience.) Some women still give me the once-over in a very non-sexual and almost scientific way, but hey, that's life. I don't even wrap a towel around myself anymore!
So one of the more irritating parts of this showering saga is the fact that there is this nice Chinese habit of not giving a flying eff about the other people you may be sharing the place with. This means that girls take their sweet time scrubbing, rinsing, washing, lathering and lotion-ing. It doesn't matter if it is rush hour and their are ten people waiting to shower, they will take their full ten minutes to get their beauty on. It's highly irritating and wasteful, but what am I supposed to do? Yell? I've been tempted to gently remind them that this isn't their personal shower, but effectively it is, or so they believe because they've paid their membership and they got there first. Speaking of that, I've been cut right in front of, obviously waiting for a shower stall, which made me slightly murderous. I'm not about to get in a naked altercation with some fierce Shanghainese lady though, are you kidding me? But I'm pretty sure I would kick her ass.
BUT...there is one interesting time-saving device: the sharing of the shower. The stalls are set up with a shower, a half wall thing and a little space where you hang your things. I've observed girlfriends use this method, one shampooing in the dry space, the other rinsing out her shampoo under the showerhead. Then switch. And in-and-out until the shower is complete. It's not a bad idea, but I can also do a quick five minutes by myself, thank you. I'm not entirely squeamish about the idea, but it just seems a bit ridiculous, not altogether efficient, and I'm squeamish enough that I don't think it's worth it. So I wait and witness this funny shower dance, wondering how it all began.
On Wednesday, I was waiting in a central location peering down the shower hall to see if someone was exiting their stall. I was cut by one lady who scooted into a recently-vacated stall, but then she was promptly joined by another woman whose shower had gone cold. She asked if she could pop in and rinse out her shampoo. The cutter readily agreed. So maybe that was fate. Then I stood for a few more minutes, as people looked at me and leisurely lathered up. That's the worst part, when they know you're waiting and they don't care. Ooooh it gets my blood boiling!
Suddenly, a Chinese girl peeks out and says in perfect English, "If you don't mind, we can share this shower if you want?" More shocked by her language skills than her request, I looked a bit startled and said, "Oh, no, it's okay, I'll wait." And she nodded and smiled. All naked, mind you. I got the next stall within a minute so I could sit and think about what just happened. A stranger in a strange land offered me a place in her shower, if I didn't mind. But I did mind...is that bad?
I guess bathing with strangers isn't something I feel the need to experience...but maybe I just haven't had to take a shower badly enough yet.
Meow.
Love,
ellen
Update: My American colleague here reports that sharing a shower actually does save time, as she and her teammates in college utilized this practice. So, maybe I'll give it a go? The stranger thing still weirds me out and if people still want a ten-minute leisurely lather-up, then it won't be shorter than a 5-minute quickie.
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